No love + No respect = The extinction of Black women.


Image from afroromance.com

If one were to take a look at the old music videos starring rappers such as Snoop Dogg, and then shift their eyes to the current hip hop videos, one would be able to see that the amount of African-American women starring in these videos has alarmingly dwindled down to a point, where it has now become a game of where’s the black women rather than where’s Waldo.

Before I continue writing this article, I wish to make it clear that this is not a finger-pointing rant concerning a disgruntled black woman, no. This is me simply trying to understand why ever since I molted my naïve 14-year-old girl skin, I, like many other black women, have been cast aside by not all, but by some black men because I am apparently considered to be a triple threat! 1) The usual, I have a bad attitude, 2) My hair isn’t silky, shiny, and straight, and 3) I am too picky. There are times when I actually laugh at myself, because I always used to frown at the fact that  there were too many black men who purposely dated black women because they hated the idea of bi-racial relationships, now the tables have turned significantly, but at times, for the wrong reason. This idea of a ‘nappy’ haired ghetto black women with a baby in one hand and a cigarette in the other, whilst wearing a ‘you’re the baby daddy!’ t-shirt, has polluted the minds of not only a considerable amount of black men, but also innocent minded black boys! There are times when a grown girl like me has had my feelings crushed by hearing young black boys say that black women are not easy and have huge stretch marks. It is words like this that have caused many black women to not only feel belittled, but also abandoned. What have we done to make the male african american society turn on us? Have they seem to forgotten that before and during the slavery it was us, only us, who they had? We were their best friends, their soul mates and most importantly of all their mothers. Is it really us that is the problem or is it in fact them?

Now I love, and always have loved, the idea of bi-racial relationships, and when I see a black man with a woman of any ethnicity it does not bother me, because I consider it normal; these men should not be restricted. However, when I hear a black man say I wanna be with a this girl (mostly Caucasian) because they’re easy and skinny, my eyebrows tend to take a super dip down into by head to form a frown. It is this easy concept that truly agitates me, because not only are black women being disrespected, but it is also Caucasian women too who are being disrespected. There are too many black men who are being brainwashed by the pornographic image of a blonde Caucasian girl who can and will do anything sexually for them. And the worse thing is that this image, is now being realized and accepted by these girls, rather than being deflected. I have now come to realize that this pathetic war to ‘bag’ a black man has not only helped to worsen the feud between black men and women, it has now caused many, and I mean many, black women to shun and hate Caucasian  women because we have been tricked into seeing them as thieves.

After having Barack Obama being elected as the first African American president of America, I personally thought that the desire to say no to racism was being wanted by many, but that was unfortunately just one of my many dreams, because it has now become an everyday thing where if I watch a movie or hang out with my friends,  I always witness some animosity between a black girl and a Caucasian girl, causing some of us to be seen as hypocrites. Hypocrites because like how Black men are deeming us to be awful characters, we too are doing the same thing to the female Caucasian society. Think me bitter, and think me skeptical, but racism has and always will be a part of our lives, whether we choose to accept it or not.

Author’s Note: Olayemi Olurin told me several years ago that Black Women were going extinct.
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Comments

  1. Georgia says:

    I really respect what you have to say. Certainly, it is us women that should have a more united front against the foolishness of some men. There’s no need for this division or animosity, as surely the white young ladies must hate this ‘easy’ label they’ve been assigned as much as we hate ‘attitude’ label.
    x

    • Actually white women do not hate the label of “easy”. Have you not seen the hashtag #WhiteGirlsDoItBetter? It was created by white women in the pornographic industry.
      I think it funny when black people try to get into the minds of white people. You will never get into their minds and you will continue to underestimate them because you do not truly understand them. Black people need to admit that slavery broke us and fragmented our whole being. They beat you!!! White people know our entire mindset because we have always given them our mindset. There are twelve hundred white think tanks to think about you and how to subdue you. There is only one black think tank that is concerned about your well being. Blacks have become a permanent underclass and we are now considered irrelvanant to whites. Hispanics are coming in this country to replace you and they will control the narrative. It will no longer be whites versus blacks. It will be whites versus Hispanics and anything that whites need to know and be concerned about when it comes to minorities they will go to the Hispanic community and not the blacks. You all have been warned to get your shidt together a long time ago but you did not listen and were only concerned about side issues. Pretty soon the Asians will displace you and if you think you did not get anything as being the number two population in this country in all of these years try seeing what you will get when you descend further down the ladder. I am willing to do all the things that Dr. Claude Anderson perscribes in his youtube videos. I have never really been into black men. My son is black and Hispanic and these are the people that are going to displace, supplant you and crush you and you will not have a voice anymore because the narrative will be between whites and Hispanics from that point on and not whites and blacks. I know for a fact that black men do not tip in fact black people do not really tip and infact, one black man cheated me out of seven dollars and two cents. Many black men work for the oil industry down here and make good money but refuse to tip me–a black woman when I am trying to earn a living just like them. A week ago I had a black man approach me in his car asking me if I had a boyfriend. He was leaving the strip club where I was delivering pizza to. Now what can I do with him? He was watching white women take off clothes and bounce and gyrate. I have no use for him. Another thing that I despise is the amount of violence in the black community. if a black doesn’t agree with you then people feel that they have the right to put their hands on you. People want to blow it off as a product of slavery and well you know blacks have always been beat by family members. I had my brother beat me and he told me that one day I would thank him for it. I think that one of my brothers beat him. A month ago I had to put my cousin out of my house because she was starting shidt with my ex-boyfriend and antagonizing him and then he called her the B-Word after he got tired of her. She punched him several times, broke his four hundred dollar glasses, hit him with a beer bottle and tried to drag him outside of my house. That was an occasion where I was scared that someone was going to kill someone–I was scared that he would retaliate and kill her. I have a right to feel peace and safety in my own home and I moved where I am to get away from violence but yet thanks to blacks it came to my own home. I am not going for the violence at all!!! I would love to divorce myself from the black race because blacks see things upside down and backwards but yet the only thing that I can do is stay black and survive.

  2. No matter the race…I think any man would love a beautiful woman, so I don’t think it’s in the looks department where Black women have an issue.

    Unfortunately, my sisters have somehow lost their way because they want to wear the skirt AND the pants. Black men are more sensitive than Black women realize. That’s why he’s so quick to anger…so passionate about what he loves…and has a certain swag and confidence that’s actually considered “cool” by so many other races.

    So why is the Black woman offended when her man doesn’t want to sex her anymore and he’s pressed to get away from her??? Oh, that’s right! The night before you were so busy nagging at him that you forgot NOBODY wants to be in a relationship with, sex, or marry his momma! If you aren’t going to support him, then keep it moving. If he can do better, then cool…have his back and encourage him…if he doesn’t change, stop trying to “fix” him and focus on your own life.

    As for the sob story….Black women play the victim like we’re the only ones who’ve been done wrong. Other women don’t get deserted by their child’s father? Other women don’t get cheated on????

    The baby momma image came from a real place….the chick in the hood poppin’ out babies at 12 or 13. Sad, yes. Reality, yes. Why are we mad people are showing us the truth??? It’s real…and this is where the pain of the Black woman starts. It’s not in how wrong she’s done by the Black man or how wrong she’s done by society. It’s about how she’s not fulfilling her responsibility to her people, her children, and her community. Instead of finding her need in these places, she looks for the material world to provide her with her “fulfillment”….my dear sister, stop looking for value in worthlessness. Stop looking to be treated like women of other races. We’re unique…we stand apart from the rest….why fight that???? Nobody cares that the Black woman is erased from music videos. I know I don’t because I don’t think it’s a bad thing we should want more for ourselves than being a “video hoe”.

    Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE my Black sister, but she needs to learn her place (not where society places her, but where we place ourselves). We should be supporting Black men. We should be fighting to keep our families and community together, and our Black men out of prison. How can we do that???

    GET YOUR KIDS! Stop the cycle and end the curse. Love your kids and shower them with the affection they deserve. Care about their education and future. School the young girls coming up and show them what life is really about. Tell her than she can have all the money in the world but if she don’t love and respect herself, then she’ll never feel alive enough to enjoy it anyways.

    To the stand-up Black guy who really wants to find love in his sisters – the Black woman needs to first find her own identity….then she can seek to make the world around her a better place. Please be patient….God isn’t finished with us yet. Much love and thanks for the interesting post Tajha! ~ Nikki Sky

    • I couldnt have said it better myself. If no other race will accept us, we ourselves need to accept eachother and try to build a strong community, work together as ONE like the jewish community, the asian community, the indian community ect. If we stand together as one and not so didved by stupid things like colourism and self hate, we will do better as a people. Instead, all the black community have to show for themselves are all the negative behaviors that are associated with us. I dont get it, if you know acting a certain way or getting yourself in a certain situation is a big stereotype for a black person and looked down upon by the world, why would you STILL act in that way. Do you enjoy being seen at the bottom of humanity?! Why live up to these stereotypes and give them all something to talk about. Why not try and prove them wrong?!

    • I disagree with GrindCertified. The commentary sounded at us. To know you were one of us, came as a surprise. You said you “don’t think it’s in the looks department where Black women have an issue.” With that I concur. It’s not us who have the issue with our looks. It is the Black man who has the issue with us. His self-esteem is lacking, when he abandons us for a White woman. It is his perception of beauty that is in question. No ours, as is pointed out in my blog, “Why Black Women Hate Black Men Who Date White Women.” What no one has talked about is the Black family unit, and how its demiss in the last 30 years, has caused all issues we are speaking of. The Black man was not in the home. If he didn’t want a family he should have taken the responsibilty and used a condom. Him abandoning the Black woman has caused us to not know “respect” for him. We saw momma! And she was the one who told us we were beautfiul. So we got older and went off looking for validation from the Black man. And often time, he is a dissappointment because he, too, didn’t have a daddy to rear him. So we are all victims. Which is why it’s hard to understand him leaving us, for what ever the reason. We are all shaped to be bitter. We women have lowered expectation of brothers. Which is sad. So if there was a “blame” to be cast.., yeah, the brothers would have it! Can we women afford to be more compassionate, loving and undersanding? Of course we can grow in how we communicate our love. “Our” love language could stand some work. Not just the woman’s love language. Is this cause enough to leave Black women? In my opinion, it is not about the Black man not being able to deal with us. This now comes down to “perception”. His perception of a White woman equates to the “grass being greener on Molly’s side.” And that’s the fucking kicker for us. That’s the part that hurts. I for instance, was raised in a two parent household. My parents are still married to this day. I am not a victim of poor rearing. (I don’t have any children, out of wedlock) . And so my “tips” on love, and how we interact with one another come from a fruitful place of seeing Black, successful love. I know not to be mouthy with my man, to be submissive, to be supportive. Does that mean that I can’t get mouthy? That I should be supportive of every decision? My point is, that there are shades of gray in every situation. And if the Black man’s perception that the grass is greener over there because she knew her father, or because sex is more available, then let his ass go over there!! Because I wouldn’t want to contend with the battle in my own mind that someday that “draw/perception” is going to cause him to walk out! I won’t do that to myself. So i’m not for him and he is not for me. Molly can have his ass!!!!! Thank God for the brother who appreciates my brand of beauty which is not anywhere close to that of a White person. I won’t hold it against him for loving my my “naps” and my curves, as I love them.
      As for videos, a lot could be said there on both sides of the coin. “Hoes” is a word i would refrain from saying regarding women who are on videos. Speaking like that of any Black woman, I think, further perpetuates our collective low self esteem. I
      Black families have been successful in the past. When our brothers respected us, sought us, validated and taught us, yeah, we were ok. This new brother… i just don’t know. I’ll be praying for him though.

    • What the heel are you talking about? How are black women not fulfilling her responsibilities to her community when she is the only element holding the community up? Without the black woman there would BE no community by this point because the black man has set about DESTROYING his community.

      They are in gangs and shooting each other up in the streets. The prisons & jails are bursting at the seams with black men, but NOT the schools and NOT the workplace. They walk the streets with their pants sagging & their underwear showing. They don’t even help raise their own kids (stats say 72% of black men are not even in the home to help raise their children). Many BM are selling drugs to members of the black community.

      And now these men have taken to blaming black women for the inability to find work. They say BW are working with white men in the Human Resources departments to keep BM unemployed. But of you notice, BM will never blame white WOMEN for anything. She can do NO wrong in his eyes. If you listen carefully, black men will only say “The White Man” did this & “The White Man” did that. But he never says “White People” did this and that because he wants to leave the white woman blameless. I never noticed this until Black men started accusing black women of the same things they have said about white men.

      So, I just wanted to mention that. You need to open your eyes about black men. They are always blaming others. BW have been through all the things BM have been through yet she raises kids AND works AND goes to school! Think about it.

  3. No matter the race…I think any man would love a beautiful woman, so I don’t think it’s in the looks department where Black women have an issue.

    Unfortunately, my sisters have somehow lost their way because they want to wear the skirt AND the pants. Black men are more sensitive than Black women realize. That’s why he’s so quick to anger…so passionate about what he loves…and has a certain swag and confidence that’s actually considered “cool” by so many other races.

    So why is the Black woman offended when her man doesn’t want to sex her anymore and he’s pressed to get away from her??? Oh, that’s right! The night before you were so busy nagging at him that you forgot NOBODY wants to be in a relationship with, sex, or marry his momma! If you aren’t going to support him, then keep it moving. If he can do better, then cool…have his back and encourage him…if he doesn’t change, stop trying to “fix” him and focus on your own life.

    As for the sob story….Black women play the victim like we’re the only ones who’ve been done wrong. Other women don’t get deserted by their child’s father? Other women don’t get cheated on????

    The baby momma image came from a real place….the chick in the hood poppin’ out babies at 12 or 13. Sad, yes. Reality, yes. Why are we mad people are showing us the truth??? It’s real…and this is where the pain of the Black woman starts. It’s not in how wrong she’s done by the Black man or how wrong she’s done by society. It’s about how she’s not fulfilling her responsibility to her people, her children, and her community. Instead of finding her need in these places, she looks for the material world to provide her with her “fulfillment”….my dear sister, stop looking for value in worthlessness. Stop looking to be treated like women of other races. We’re unique…we stand apart from the rest….why fight that???? Nobody cares that the Black woman is erased from music videos. I know I don’t because I don’t think it’s a bad thing we should want more for ourselves than being a “video hoe”.

    Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE my Black sister, but she needs to learn her place (not where society places her, but where we place ourselves). We should be supporting Black men. We should be fighting to keep our families and community together, and our Black men out of prison. How can we do that???

    GET YOUR KIDS! Stop the cycle and end the curse. Love your kids and shower them with the affection they deserve. Care about their education and future. School the young girls coming up and show them what life is really about. Tell her than she can have all the money in the world but if she don’t love and respect herself, then she’ll never feel alive enough to enjoy it anyways.

    To the stand-up Black guy who really wants to find love in his sisters – the Black woman needs to first find her own identity….then she can seek to make the world around her a better place. Please be patient….God isn’t finished with us yet. Much love & thanks for the interesting post Tajha. ~ Nikki Sky

  4. I think its all in the media.
    The media portrays white women as “hot” and “desireable.”
    It always has and it always will.
    I think I should say this, Im a white man. Obviously, I agree that white prvelage eixists, and I don’t want to apoligize for being who I am, but yes I agree that society gives me an unfair advantage. But one thing that I have seen happening recently is somewhat of a media back lash against white privelage. Which I think is good, but i honelty think most of it is backlash against white men, because for some reason white women have complete immunity against ANY negative media portrayal.
    Serously look, the white girls are ALWAYS portrayed as smart, hot, strong, independent, pefect hair teeth, and perfetct self confidence. This isn’t realistic at all.
    A lot of Black women in media are often portrayed as normal women, and a lot of time they have some problems goin on in their life. You know like the baby in one hand and the cigarette in the other.
    So any child, balck white, asian, latino, any looking at popular media, they all get this racist image in their minds that all white girls are “perfect.” And really the kids aren’t getting the same impression of black women. I really think that its a product of subtle racism in the media. They claim to not be racist but its all bs. Look at what you see on tv, the asiams are always smart, the white guys are always metrosexual dweebs, the black guys are always dumb jocks or gang bangers, the black girls are always 16 and pregenant and dealing with some serious life problems, and the white girls are always perfect.
    And this is what todays kids are seeing.

  5. zbig niew says:

    what bothers me he most is the obnoxious enthocentricity of black nationalists as if it wee black vs white aryan nazis. asians latinos arabs and some pretty dark italians etc. are disgusted by the culture of niggerism and very few have any issues with the african race,
    just as they are appalled by white trash. its not racial dna its cultural meme at issue.

  6. More of my black females are just getting fatter and lazier wanting everything coming there way. Also getting Fatter and Don’t take care of themselves. Also black women want more black men when black men don’t want black women anymore. The extinction of the black race is Coming sad to say. Also White Women are sexy and can have there straight hair pulled. That’s why when black married men go out with their friends they don’t just go out and drink or whatever. They go and look for white females to cheat with and then end up on Maury

  7. I cannot wait for a nigger free culture in the US. Yes the Africans and the AA’s who are well integrated into society are fine. The worst problem is that they are now heading to Canada as the discrimination is a little better, here the discrimination is about to get way worse now then ever before.

  8. WiseOne says:

    Some of you guys are blind, as intended. Black women today are a product of hate and the feeling of unworthiness. What else do you expect? Black men leave because they have no confidence in themselves. They have been programmed to think that dating other races gives them a sense of status and acceptance. The “submissive ” white race of women will pacify and validate their brokenness in their minds. I am a black woman who was fortunate enough to go against the odds and stereotypes of society and get a college education. My mind was exposed to so much more than to just what my hood had to offer. It deeply disturbs me to see how badly my race has been fucked for generations and generations. The only hope is knowing our identity in God. The enemy has succeeded in destroying our race and only Christ can redeem us. But we have to wake up first, and open our hearts to an unconditional and unfailing love!

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