So you find lesbians sexy but not gay men?

Image from lost-girl tumblr

After many enduring years of the Gay community endlessly trying to make us realize that there is nothing askew about homosexuality, our society has finally come around to embrace the Gay community, but not as amiable as Harvey Milk would have hoped us to.

Two questions. When was the last time you saw your straight male friends get impelled by the thought of two girls getting it on at any typical male scenario? Quite recently I assume, now here is another food for thought, when was the last time you heard these same friends discuss about how arousing it would be to see two gay male best friends make out? Yes, I too paused at the thought of that. Why is it that men and even women can seem to casually welcome the the idea of lesbianism but at the same time instantly banish any thought of two men being together? This new rule created by the ever so godly humans of today truly perplexes me, because I was brought up to believe that a homosexual relationship included not only women being in a same sex relationship, but also men, and if you’re going to do the scrupulous thing and support it, that means welcoming both homosexual men and women. It’s unfair that society has sunken their claws into the  gay community and has the audacity to create norms within it and tell us what type of homosexual relationship should be glorified, trended and should appear in nearly every teenage movie or music video. This is not us accepting homosexuality, this is just us yet again doing the unthinkable and giving birth to a new form of segregation within the lives of homosexual citizens.

This modern idea of choosing to only be congenial to lesbians frighteningly reminds me too much of the treatment of slaves during the 17th, 18th and 19th centuries of America. Wgere slave owners were known to be more gentle towards lighter skinned slaves than dark-skinned slaves, and even considered them to be more intelligent and superior. We too are doing the same thing within the gay community by treating homosexual women with more respect than we do homosexual men, because like the bestial slave owners, we are also seeing through our unfair and prejudiced eyes by deliberately turning our backs to the male spectrum of the gay community. Not only is this morally wrong, but this is also unfair. We should have no say on who in the gay community gets  to pass our yearly popularity test. We endlessly complain about how the government favours the more privileged folks in society, and speaking for the U.K, provides a better educational opportunity for better off kids, yet here we are, the same people who are now choosing our favorite group of people in the gay community and casting those we don’t like aside. Are we not imposing the same social rules we condemn the government for doing? Does that make us hypocrites? Yes it does. And even though we can’t change how the government treats us, we can surely change how we treat homosexual men by just promoting their relationships more on T.V and showing less animosity towards them. Is that so hard?

By exposing lesbianism on T.V, lesbians have gradually come to be accepted by many people. Does this mean we should do the same for homosexual men and promote their relationships more in the entertainment industry? Is this too much of a risk to take, or is this a risk we should take? What do you think?


  1. This is a must read regardless.

  2. Carina Browder says:

    Widespread fetishization isn’t necessarily acceptance. Lesbians on television are still being fetishized by media as being overtly sexual, or doing it for attention, or other harmful stereotypes of non-heterosexual women. As for the homosexual men, the stereotype of gay = feminine is what still terrifies mainstream media. Either way, both male/male and female/female couples have been limited to chaste hugs and sitting five feet apart in television shows, and the kisses and more are saved for Very Special Episodes. (I’m looking at you, Glee.)
    Really interesting topic, though! Great read. 🙂

    • Tajha Konomanyi says:

      Thank you and i love your comment, it’s very perspective.

    • I agree, if anything, this just shows an objectification and fetishization of attractive women engaged in homosexual activity, which is not the same thing as acceptance of lesbians. I know men who like watching lesbian porn but still discriminate against both gays and lesbians and think such activity is immoral. Lesbian porn is marketed towards straight men to begin with. Have you guys ever watched the video of lesbians watching lesbian porn? They can tell right off the bat that it’s made for men and the women portrayed are not actually lesbians. Anyhow, any of you who are involved in fandoms will know how prevalent slash shipping is (pairing two male characters from a show/book/etc) compared to its f/f counterpart femslash, and manga and anime fans will know how popular shounen ai (manga/anime with light male/male relationships) and yaoi (manga/anime with explicit male/male relationships, aimed at straight females, whereas bara is aimed at gay males) are compared to their lesbian counterparts. Slash is far more popular than femslash at this point in time. It’s interesting that I’ve started seeing articles like this popping around, because I was always under the impression that lesbians have a longer way to go to gain full acceptance than gays (and this stems largely from the fact that they’re women, and as people have said, it’s a man’s world and has been for a long time, and discrimination against lesbians is an ugly mixture of misogyny and homophobia). Many men out there fantasize about turning lesbians straight, and don’t seem to accept the fact that the woman is just not interested in men at all. Like there’s this underlying belief that women who are lesbians just haven’t found the right guy yet or are actually bi. Some people don’t even seem to acknowledge their existence at all. All in all both gays and lesbians still have a long way to go to gain full acceptance in (many) societies, and they both have entirely different problems to contend with. In many ways lesbians have it worse than gays, and gays have it worse than lesbians. It’s not a contest. It’s just how things are, and it needs to be fixed.

  3. Tajha Konomanyi says:


  4. Tajha Konomanyi says:

    I honestly thought that people would be more approving of this article and wouldn’t bare the same grudge they have towards homosexuals towards this article, I was obviously wrong.

  5. Shayana Galliher says:

    People will critique you on your articles. I believe and many other people believe that they are great. Just keep writing amazing articles!

  6. Interesting article. I think you touch on an important dichotomy in society’s perspective regarding homosexual relationships. When considering the question of why girl/girl relationships are more palatable to society than guy/guy, I believe an important dimension to be considered is the dominance of the male perspective in media and advertising in this country. It has been said that we live in a ”mans world”. This phrase captures the fact that our society is a male driven one in which males are paid more, are captains of industry, and whose preferences (such as that for lesbian interaction) are more widely accepted by society and in the media. Keeping this in mind, its easy to understand how lesbianism has become so glorified and hyper-sexualized in pop-culture whilst it’s male counterpart (being less appealing to a male audience) is often given the cold shoulder instead.

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