Interracial Dating: Color Does NOT Determine Who we Love


K Michelle and Ryan Lochte
[Image from news.lalate.com]

I know people like to believe that the world has moved past its very racist beginnings, but whenever interracial dating becomes a topic of discussion, it becomes apparent we haven’t. And I’m not just referring to racism from White people, but Black people as well.

Earlier today I stumbled upon an article on Global Grind where the author was trying to decipher whether or not K Michelle, Love and Hip Hop Atlanta Reality Star, and Ryan Lochte, Swimming Olympian, were a couple. Attached to the article was a YouTube video where an interviewer continuously asked K Michelle what she and Ryan Lochte could have in common. While she laughed it off and explained that they have lots in common and that Ryan doesn’t see color, I found it less than funny that people insist on acting as though skin color determines what we as people are going to be interested in, who we are going to be attracted to, or who we find happiness with. Why should K Michelle have to explain to the interviewer that she and Ryan both like Hip Hop and have things in common, simply because the interviewer wants to believe that we have predetermined likes and dislikes depending on our skin pigment? This kind of ignorance shouldn’t be the dominant view in society that people don’t even pick fault with because they’re so accustomed to it.

As a Black woman, I know many Black women who can’t control their rage at just the thought of Black men dating White women.  If you ask most Black women their problem with it, the reasons will range from their belief that Black men only want to be with White women because they can control them, all the way to them complaining about how is it that Black men could prefer White women when a strong Black woman raised them. This kind of thinking truly has to stop.

Why do we all insist on associating certain family values and character traits with a skin color when we all know how many millions of factors go into forming a personality?

And it’s not just Black women that find fault with interracial couples. White people are very quick to accuse White women of dating Black men in order to anger their parents or rebel. And they are quick to accuse White men of going through a phase or wanting to be Black. It’s all very ludicrous.

There’s no reason interracial couples need to answer so many primitive questions from friends, family, and outsiders alike. Both races are so quick to point the finger and play the blame game on who’s more racist and who’s holding onto a historical grudge, but both races are very guilty. Both races stereotype each other unfairly and keep this societal war going on.

Why should a Black man have to date a Black woman just to keep other Black people from calling him a traitor or self loather? Aren’t we supposed to be united as a community?

And why should a White man or woman have to date another White person to avoid being excommunicated from their own family?

In the year 2012, you shouldn’t have to accept that if you date someone outside your race you’re going to receive a backlash or negativity, or people are going to assume you dislike your own race. If you like someone you should be able to date them without a comment or questions from anybody else, regardless of their race because people are not different because of their race, we only perpetuate this idea. Race and culture may influence us in ways, but it does not decide who we are. There’s too much happening around us in this world to believe we can only have something in common with someone our complexion.

And I truly hope people stop referring to interracial couples as “swirling”. Bossip has made this term popular but it is disrespectful because it makes people’s relationships that they are truly invested in sound as though it is some new game they are trying out and it furthers this divide between the races.

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Comments

  1. While i am from the very old school, when it comes to love I agree with the writer, color is not an issue

  2. And a great book on this topic is “One Race, One Blood” by Ken Hamm and A. Charles Ware. To realize that there is one human race and only 2 divisions-Christian and non-Christian is a completely new revelation to most people.

  3. wow this is soo inspiring! ur absolutly right, i am tired of people thinking that because a black girl and a white guy date there must be something wrong, i know lots of black girls who find white guys attractive and its not because they are white, including me. loool ryan lochte all the way!!!!!

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