Being an Introvert in the Dating Scene


Image from It's from NedHardy.com

Image from It’s from NedHardy.com

  1. Never knowing what to say. Any and all text messages leave you uncertain of what to say. They think the weather is nice? All you have to say back to that is, “Yeah, I know.” That is, after you take a quick glance out the window. Was it sunny before you took a nap after work? Romantic texts are even worse. What do you say when someone confesses how they feel? After leaving your phone sit for an hour, you come back to it equally as clueless as ever. Emotions are unbelievably complicated.
  2. Emotions. The never-ending battle of emotions plagues on for introverts. It leaves us completely uncomfortable, no matter what it is they’re talking about. Is your bestie going on a little speech on how awesome their relationship is? “Yeah, sounds great.” The awkward moment when they get super upset about something in a movie and you, as usual, have no idea how to comfort them. “I mean…It’s like a movie, though, you know?” It’s not like we don’t have emotions, it’s more like we feel awkward ever bringing them up. Road rage is totally different. The worst part about emotions is that not even you know how you feel! Are you interested in so-and-so? Who knows!
  3. Meeting their parentsThis is totally unnerving for everyone, but especially for us introverts. How terrifying was it to hang out one on one with your new love interest, having two pairs of seemingly judgmental eyes are even more so. You’re sentences are never ending, or too short. You come across angry and mean when you’re really just ungodly nervous.
  4. Leaving the “Security Zone.” Every person is different, especially when it comes to their security zone. Some people have a special coffee cafe they feel “safe” in, others have an art gallery. I have my kitchen table. It is what it is.  At some point while going out and dating, we must leave the comforts of these places to go elsewhere. Scary, right? But it must be done. Sometimes the introvert is too frightened to leave their security zone… so we make up total BS reasons why we have to cancel plans. “My cat demanded I watch the newest season of Gossip Girl and cuddle!” or “I have to marinade this chicken for tomorrow…Whoops, I’m so irresponsible!” It’s not that we don’t like you, we are genuinely just a big ball of nerves. And nerves means we have an emotion, and emotions freak us out. Sorry.
  5. Having to be socialBeing social is about the worst ever. Yet, this person is interested in you. All they want to do is talk and get to know you better, and for us introverts, this concept is completely and utterly daunting. They genuinely want to text you, make plans to see you, and *gasp* maybe even call you. Like they pick up the phone and you have to answer because you’ve been on Facebook all day so it’s obvious you’re home.  No longer can we hide behind our laptops, we must be brought out (sometimes literally) into the light and have real-time face to face conversations.
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